


Beyond the Game

by yarnandtea



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: AU, Big Bang, Fluff, M/M, Venko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 10:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1896180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yarnandtea/pseuds/yarnandtea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James and Kaidan have been gaming together online for over a year now, and grown quite close, despite never having met each other in person. Then, one day Kaidan finds out that James has a bit of a crush on someone he sort of knows in real life and encourages him to go for it. Imagine Kaidan's surprise when that someone turns out to be himself--only James has no idea that his crush and Kaidan are the same person. Kaidan's world is turned topsy-turvy with the realization, and now he must figure out what to do with this new information.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2014 Mass Effect Big Bang. Please check out the amazing fanmix that Asylum Farm made for the story! You can [check it out here.](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP8aAlHCfRhX-zkfK3SucL0fvVkWn7CE_)
> 
> Huge thanks to Asylum Farm, who was a joy to work with! Many thanks also to my always wonderful beta ladyamesindy. 
> 
> Alas, no smut in this one, rating is mostly for language. But I had a ton of fun with it, and I hope you guys enjoy it!

_Bloop!_

James looked up from his page of equations at the notification sound. The scowl on his face shifted to a grin as he leaned forward to press a key, accepting the call. "Hey, K, what's up?"

"Vega, hey," came the answer. "I'm leveling a new consular and was gonna run through some heroics on Nar Shadaa. Thought I'd see if you wanted a break from studying."

"Shit, yeah!" James slid his papers back into the backpack on the floor next to his desk. It was only extra credit anyway, and wasn't due until the end of the week. He could finish it later. Gaming with Kaidan was definitely the preferable way to spend the evening, as far as he was concerned. "Let me just get logged in."

"Cool, thanks." Kaidan's warm chuckle came through the speakers. "Was hoping you'd be up for it."

"Hey, any time. Who do you want me to bring?"

"Um...Lola, I think?"

"Got it." James grinned. Lola was his first Jedi, and still his favorite, which Kaidan knew full well. Within moments, he was immersed in the game, running Lola through the shadowy underworld of smugglers and slavers, lightsabers humming in the background as he and Kaidan chatted while their Jedi battled foes on-screen. "So, how's the system upgrade going?"

"Slowly," Kaidan drawled.

James tried to imagine the face Kaidan was making. A bit tricky, seeing as how he'd never actually met the guy, but he suspected his friend was rolling his eyes, behind a pair of trendy looking glasses, most likely. From the tone that entered Kaidan's voice, work was exasperating at the moment. James could picture Kaidan's hair--dirty blond, he decided, curly, and a little wispy--sticking out at all angles from him running his hands through it. James grinned to himself, wondering what Kaidan thought _he_ looked like.

There was a pause in the conversation while they finished off a boss, and then Kaidan elaborated. "Management doesn't quite seem to get that their employees can't actually use the computers while we're updating them, and no one wants to get dinged for their productivity dropping because they couldn't use their machine for a few hours."

"Huh," James grunted. Kaidan worked IT for some big company that, from what James had gathered over the course of their friendship, was actually a corporate front for the devil. But as far as he could tell, Kaidan seemed to actually enjoy his work, when he didn't have to deal with the higher ups in the company. Sometimes he wondered if he was getting a glimpse into what his life would be like once he finished up with school. But he was pretty sure that astronomy and IT were different enough fields that he could avoid the kind of office drudgery Kaidan groused about, and he didn't mind listening to Kaidan vent. Guy had to let it out sometime, right? Anyway, that's what friends were for.

On the screen, they entered another skirmish. James had Lola deflect a blaster bolt and then used the Force to throw her opponent into the nearest wall. The guy was low enough on health that the move finished him.

"Nice," Kaidan commented, and James could hear the smile in his voice. They finished up the area and moved on in the game, conversation drifting as well. "You've got finals coming up soon, right?"

"Yeah, next week. Shouldn't be too much trouble though."

"What will you do for the summer? Man," a wistful sigh, "I miss having a summer break."

"Heh," James chuckled. "Don't be too jealous, _amigo_ , I'm not getting much of a break. I've signed up for a couple of summer courses, and I'll be working the rest of the time. If I'm lucky I can get into the undergrad program at the observatory, too. Won't get notification about if I was accepted or not for another week or so, though."

Kaidan let out a low whistle. "Huh. That's a hell of a work ethic, Vega. Good luck with the observatory thing."

"Yeah, well, I got a late start in college," James said. He'd always planned on college, but it hadn't been financially feasible when he finished high school, so he'd enlisted instead, doing a few tours to earn the tuition. He shrugged even though he knew Kaidan couldn't see the gesture. "Even if I manage to graduate next year, which would be early, I've still got a haul in front of me to get my doctorate. Anything I can do to knock a year or two off is good."

"You'll get there," Kaidan said, tone turning encouraging. "Guess you won't have much time to game this summer though, huh?"

"Oh, man, nah," James laughed. "I'll still be around. Gotta have some way to decompress, and my gym isn't open 24/7."

"I hear that." Kaidan let out a relieved chuckle. "Well, the decompressing thing, not so much the working out."

"Hey, we can't all have devastating physiques," James teased.

"Devastating, right," Kaidan snorted. "Wait and see what your metabolism decides to do in another ten years, and then come talk to me about physiques."

"Yeah, whatever man." James laughed it off, silently adding a few more notes to his mental picture of Kaidan. He revised the image to make Kaidan a little scrawny. But tall, he thought, at least as tall as himself, and with a bit of a stomach.

Sometimes he thought it was pretty fucking weird that his best friend was a guy he'd never even met. Hell, he didn't even know where Kaidan _lived_ , although he was at least sure they were in the same time zone, given the way their schedules usually seemed to mesh. For all he knew Kaidan lived on the other side of the world and just kept strange hours. Not for the first time, it was on the tip of his tongue to just come out and _ask_. To suggest maybe they could meet up at a convention or something--Kaidan had mentioned he liked cons, and James had always wanted to go to one--or if they lived close enough, maybe get dinner and some beers. It'd be nice to hang out without worrying about the internet connection dropping out on them for once. The crappy service provided by his landlord was more or less reliable to a point, but it had a bad habit of slowing down or disconnecting on him for no apparent reason. If he could upgrade, he would, but it wasn’t an option at the moment.

But once more he didn't ask. Before he could do it, there was a loud buzzing on the other side of the call, followed by a muffled curse from Kaidan. "Shit, it's work." He grumbled and then sighed. "Hey, Vega, I've got to go, they're calling me in. Emergency issue with the servers."

James glanced at the clock and winced on Kaidan's behalf. Looked like the guy was in for a long night. "Hey, yeah, sure. Thanks for the break. I hope the issue isn't anything too bad."

"Well it's _possible_ somebody just unplugged something they shouldn't have, but I kind of doubt it." He let out a heavy sigh. "Wanna try again tomorrow? Same time?"

"Sounds good," James agreed. "Good luck."

"Thanks." Kaidan disconnected from the voice chat, and his character disappeared from the screen.

James logged out as well and glanced down at his backpack, considering diving back into his assignment. He wasn't really feeling it at the moment though. A knock on his doorframe drew his attention back up and he saw his roommate leaning into the room. "Hey, Doc," he greeted her, "what's up?"

Liara rolled her eyes at the nickname, though she had long ago given up reminding him that she hadn't earned the title of Doctor _yet_. "Sam just got home from her late class, and she brought pizza. I didn't think you'd eaten yet, so I figured I'd let you know."

James' stomach growled loudly at the mention of food, and he realized that he'd totally skipped dinner while he and Kaidan were playing. He'd meant to eat after he finished his homework. "Thanks," he said with a sheepish grin.

Liara offered him a warm smile, her lipstick almost the same shade of blue as her eyes. And her hair. It should look ridiculous, but she managed to pull it off somehow. People were always surprised to learn she was a doctoral candidate in archaeology when first meeting her, but five minutes of conversation usually had most of them forgetting all about her unorthodox style. "How was your game?" she asked as James pushed himself out of his chair and lumbered into the kitchen behind her.

"It was good. Was helping K level up a new character."

"I see. And your...friend is well?"

"Yeah, he's good. Busy with work, but good." James resisted the urge to roll his own eyes. Liara didn't quite understand how James could consider someone he only knew online as a friend. Colleague, she could grasp, but friend? Not so much. Sam, on the other hand, got it. She was a communications major though, and practically lived in the internet--she'd sprung for a mobile hotspot from her phone provider, which made that a lot easier to do. James was thankful that she got it, because she helped balance out Liara's worry that James should make more friends in the real world. Or try something even wilder, like dating.

As if picking up on his train of thought, Liara glanced back at him and offered a knowing smile. "I was planning on visiting the farmers' market this weekend, did you want to come with?"

James narrowed his eyes, picking up on her ulterior motive. "I am not gonna ask that guy out."

"What guy?" Sam piped up, catching the tail end of their conversation as they reached the kitchen. She handed James a plate piled with pizza and pulled out a stool from the counter. Settling down on it, she tucked a strand of sleek black hair behind one ear and leaned back, wide brown eyes filled with curiosity.

"The one from the market," Liara chimed in with a wide smile. "You know, that nice gentleman that works the orchard stall. With the eyes, and the shoulders."

"Oh!" Sam drew the word out, recollection glittering in her eyes. She turned back to James, fixing him with a hard stare. "You like him, I know you do. You've mentioned him a few times. Why won't you ask him out?"

"Oh, for--" James dropped down onto his own stool, dividing a glare between his roommates. "I don't even know him," he protested. "He's there to work, not to mention he's older than me. I'm sure he doesn't want some random college kid hitting on him. Besides, he might not even be into guys."

"You never know until you ask," Liara pointed out with a shrug.

"I don't have time for dating," James tried again. Liara opened her mouth to say something--probably to point out that he had time for _gaming_ \--but he cut her off. "Look, can we not have this conversation right now? Yes, I'll go to the market with you, but to shop, _not_ to pick up guys, okay?"

"Oh fine. If you insist on being like that." Liara heaved a dramatic sigh and then tucked into her pizza.

James watched her for a few long moments. He glanced over at Sam and found her watching him. She offered him a lopsided smile and shrugged, as if to say, _You know how she is when she gets her mind set on something._ James sighed and nodded before turning his attention to his own pizza. He did know. There was a reason she was so close to her doctorate at twenty-one. Once she set a goal...he sighed and shook his head. He suspected he hadn't heard the last about the guy from the market.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, check out the [awesome illustration of Liara](http://fragilespark.tumblr.com/post/97653702130/liara-offered-him-a-warm-smile-her-lipstick) that the amazing fragilespark made!


	2. Chapter 2

Kaidan sighed and leaned forward, elbows on the counter of the stall. The market was slow today, probably due to the rainclouds looming over the city. At least the people brave enough to be out and about anyway were buying. He thought his folks would be pretty happy with the day's sales. He glanced at his watch and sighed again. The market was only open for another hour. Hopefully the rain would hold off until then. He didn't relish the idea of driving back to the orchard to drop off what hadn't sold and _then_ slogging back into the city in a downpour. From the way those clouds looked, he was expecting nothing less than Zeus battling the Titans when the storm finally broke.

_Though I doubt Mom will let me drive home in a heavy storm. If it's raining when I get there, she'll probably guilt me into staying for the night._ He couldn't decide if that would be a blessing or an annoyance. Although if he was being honest with himself, the idea of a home cooked dinner was far more appealing than his current plan of takeout. Not to mention, if Udina "forgot" that Kaidan wasn't on call this weekend, he would have a valid excuse to tell his boss to call someone else.

Still, takeout wasn't his only plan for the night. He wanted to run his consular, Shepard, through some more quests, and if Vega was around, maybe try for a few flashpoints. Not that he needed Vega around to do those, but it was nice to have someone you knew on your team. If he was stuck at the orchard, there'd be no gaming tonight. Besides, he enjoyed talking to Vega. College kid or not, he had a way of looking at the world that Kaidan really liked. Their conversations had a way of helping him forget how mundane his life felt most of the time.

He huffed out yet another sigh and glanced at the sky again. The clouds still glowered. Kaidan glowered back.

"Oh, good! You haven't sold out already!"

Kaidan blinked and turned his attention to the young woman standing in front of his stall. She was holding up an apple and examining it with a wide smile. He smiled back and nodded his head to her. He'd seen her around the market more than once. It was hard to forget her, really, with that vibrant blue hair. She bought something from his parents’ stall whenever she came to the market, though he couldn't remember her ever really making conversation with him before. She winked at him and he realized that the hair color matched her eyes. _Huh_.

"Plenty left," he said in agreeable tone. He gestured outside the canopy. "I think a lot of people are staying in today."

"Well, that just means more for us," she said with another wink and a bright smile.

She turned her attention to the produce, lining up several pieces of fruit on the counter, and Kaidan felt himself fighting down a blush. Had she been flirting? Or was she just a naturally friendly person? He never could tell. After all, she _did_ always stop by his stall. But that could just be because his parents grew the best. She _was_ pretty cute, he had to admit. Though definitely too young for him, and, if he was being honest, nowhere near as cute as her _friend_.

Kaidan glanced at the guy accompanying her and felt the urge to stand a little taller. He managed to resist the impulse, but only just barely. The guy was _huge_ , with muscles to spare, and about an inch or two on Kaidan. Intriguing whirls of black ink spilled out of the collar and sleeve of his too tight t-shirt-- _he probably can't find them any other way_ , Kaidan mused--and a few scars marked his face in a less obvious fashion. Those only served to make him _more_ intriguing. Easy enough to guess at the source of the scars, though, given the faded Marines logo printed on the shirt. He was still younger than Kaidan, but older than his companion, and Kaidan guessed in an age range he felt a lot more comfortable tackling.

_He's also probably her boyfriend, so maybe you should stop checking him out_. He'd seen the tattooed guy around the market before as well, and always in the company of the young woman with the blue hair. Kaidan pulled his gaze back to her, and saw that she seemed to be finished with her selection. She smiled at him again while he tallied up her total, then glanced back at her companion and rolled her eyes when she saw that he had his hands jammed into the pockets of his jeans and was studiously looking at the clouds. If he had to guess, Kaidan thought that the guy had been dragged here against his will. He hid a sigh. Definitely the boyfriend, then.

He helped load the fruit into the bag the woman provided and then wished them both a good day, straining to keep his voice polite and professional. The woman gave him a cheery farewell, and the guy darted his eyes toward Kaidan and mumbled something before slouching after his companion. Kaidan leaned back as they left, watching them go, and mentally chided himself for his unprofessional behavior. It wouldn't help his parents any for him to be ogling their customers. Plus, he should know by now that the market was a terrible place to meet people. _Oh well, at least it’s a hell of a view_ , he thought. He kept his eyes on the guy until the pair of them climbed into their car and pulled out of the parking lot, then he glanced down at his watch. Forty minutes left.

**~~~~**

Kaidan never would have thought forty minutes at the market could feel as interminable as forty minutes in one of Udina's meetings, but by the time he was packing up, he was seriously considering telling his parents that they should find someone else to work the stall when they couldn't make it into the city themselves. He'd never do it, but it _was_ rather nice to imagine not having to block off every weekend on his calendar during market season.

That thought made him snort as he finished loading up the back of his dad's truck. _Yeah, because you have to turn down so many plans as it is._ He shook his head at himself and swung the tailgate up into place, then closed the hatch on the camper top, twisting the handle and locking it. He shot a wary glance up at the sky as he slid into the cab and turned the truck for the orchard. The clouds still weren't doing more than threatening, and he crossed his fingers that they'd hold off for a few more hours.

He managed to make it _almost_ all the way home before the skies broke open. Running into the restaurant to pick up his dinner and getting it back to the car again without getting soaked was something of an adventure, but he mostly managed it. Not for the first time, he was thankful that he had sprung for the extra rent so that his apartment was in a building with a parking garage. As he passed through the lobby, he glanced at the doors to the building's recreation center and saw a sign posted that the pool reconstruction was finally finished. Looked like it would be opening again in a week's time. He smiled to himself and made a mental note to check with the office about scheduling lap time again before all the slots got reserved. It would be good to hit the water on a regular basis again. He had been using Ash's pool when he could, but it was tricky to coordinate their schedules, and her neighbors tended to catcall, which was as embarrassing as it was irritating.

Back in his apartment, he scarfed down his dinner before tossing his damp clothes on the towel rack to dry out a bit. Then he cranked up the hot water and took a quick shower. He was just pulling a sweater over his head when he heard the familiar "bloop!" of an incoming call from his computer. He finished dressing as he stumbled into the other room and slid into the seat behind his desk, fingers already on the keyboard.

"Hey, Vega," he grinned. "I figured you'd be out getting your party on, it being Saturday night and all." He had figured no such thing, but he couldn't resist teasing a little. As much as he hated to admit it, because it would mean less time for _them_ to hang out, Kaidan thought Vega could probably stand to get out a little more. From the sound of things, all he ever did was study or game. Or work out, he amended, remembering Vega's mention of the gym the other day.

"Not so much," came the reply. "You around tonight?"

"Sure." Kaidan frowned, picking up on something he didn't like in Vega's voice. "You okay?"

"Yeah, mostly." There was a heavy sigh on the other side of the call. "Just annoyed. My roommate's been giving me crap about something all day, and she won't let it go. I know she means well, but..."

"Ah." Kaidan nodded sagely. The meddling friend or family member. He knew that particular irritation quite well.

"Anyway, was thinking I might vent frustration on some Sith, instead of snapping at her. You up for it?"

"Sounds like a solid plan to me."

They dove into the game, and for the next few hours they didn't speak much, beyond what was needed to coordinate their playing. They found another pair of players wanting to run through some flashpoints and teamed up with them, which kind of killed personal conversation anyway. It was a pretty good session, Kaidan thought. He leveled Shepard up several times, and found some decent loot. Kaidan was glad to note that Vega seemed to be in better spirits afterwards as well.

They had just parted ways with the other half of their group and were debating on where to go next when Kaidan heard a muffled knock over the line. James uttered a soft groan and then called out, "Come in!" He didn't mute the mike, and Kaidan heard a woman ask a quiet question. He would have bet good money that Vega rolled his eyes before replying, "Yes, Doc, I remembered to eat dinner this time. You're not my mom, you know."

She laughed, and Kaidan nearly choked on his beer when she raised her voice to reply in a dry tone, "Good thing, too, otherwise I doubt I'd be trying to help you get laid."

" _Liara_ ," James hissed. "I. Am. On. Voice. Chat."

"Oh!" she squeaked.

Clearing his throat, Kaidan said, "Um, yeah, hi."

"Oh," she repeated, her embarrassment carrying through even over the speakers. "I am so sorry. I'll just, go now." There was a pause and then, obviously directed at Vega. "But I still say it's worth talking to him, James."

"For the last time, Doc," Vega groaned, "he wasn't checking me out."

"Whatever you say," she responded.

This was followed by the clear sound of a door closing, and then a loud grumbling noise that Kaidan realized must be Vega. _James_ , he corrected himself, filing the information away. Not that he was likely to start actually calling him that, but he figured it was worth remembering.

"So, uh," he said, clearing his throat again. "Are we pretending that didn't happen, or do you need to vent a bit?"

"Shit, sorry," James grumbled.

"Hey, no need to apologize," Kaidan assured him. "I've had roommates, I know how it is."

James laughed, and Kaidan was relieved to hear that he sounded more weary than annoyed. "She means well. She just. Once she gets an idea, she has a hard time letting it go."

"I can only imagine that's extra frustrating when the idea centers around _you_ ," Kaidan observed.

"You know it." There was a moment of quiet. "I don't mind talking about it though, I guess," James said. "But I think I'm done playing tonight, if that's cool."

"Oh, sure." Kaidan watched as Lola disappeared from the screen. He ran Shepard back to her ship and started sending her companions on missions, figuring he could get some crafting in while they talked. "So, what's going on?"

"I don't really do the whole dating thing," James started. "Just...I dunno, I guess I figure it's a distraction, you know? Plus, I don't want anyone getting hurt because I disappear for a few days when I'm in the middle of finals or gone for a few weeks at the observatory or something like that. I mean, it's not that I don't _want_ to date, ever. I just haven't found anyone that seemed worth trying to make it work."

"Let me guess, your roommate doesn't agree with this policy?"

"Not so much," James agreed.

There was a wistful tone in his voice that reminded Kaidan of just how young James must really be. He supposed he couldn't blame the guy for trying to avoid getting involved with someone. Even good relationships took work, and good relationships could all too quickly turn bad. From everything James had told Kaidan, he was super focused on his studies. He was aiming for that doctorate and he wasn't about to let anything get in his way. It made sense that he would decide to curb his social life. Hell, Kaidan couldn't even remember James ever mentioning any friends aside from his roommates. And himself, of course. That was a bit of a sobering thought. He felt a rush of warmth flood through him, honored that James was willing to spend so much time talking to him.

"So," he drawled, going back over the bit of conversation he'd heard, "she's got someone in mind for you, then."

"Yeah, there's a guy at this place we go to. I mean. She didn't pick him at random. I _do_ like the guy. But it's mostly in the 'I like looking at him' kind of way."

"Ah, gotcha." Kaidan smiled.

"Right. I mean, I don't even know the guy. I don't think I've ever even spoken directly to him. But Doc has decided we're perfect for each other. When we saw him today, she thought she caught him checking me out. So _now_ she keeps bugging me to ask him out or something."

"Hmm."

James' voice took on a note of suspicion. "What?"

"Look, I totally get why you aren't into dating," Kaidan tried.

"But?" James asked pointedly.

Kaidan sighed. "But you said you just haven't found anyone worth it. Also, that you don't know this guy, but you're at least a little interested, right?"

"Right..."

"Well, you've got a bit of down time coming up in between finals and your summer courses. Maybe it's a good time to try to get to know him. If he's not worth it, you'll know and you can move on, and your roommate drops the subject, right?"

"Maybe," James conceded. He didn't sound very enthusiastic at the prospect.

"Look, Vega," Kaidan tried. "I'm not trying to side with your roommate or anything. I just think that if _you_ really do like this guy, maybe now's a good time to see if there's anything there. I mean, what if he _is_ worth it?" His brow furrowed at the strange twist in his gut at the thought. What if it _did_ work out with that guy? Would James still have time to hang out with him? Kaidan pushed the worry back down, surprised at himself.

"K, you're killing me," James moaned.

"I won't say anything else about it, I promise. Just, give it some thought, yeah?" From behind him, the Imperial March began playing, and his phone jittered across the counter as the vibrate setting went off. "Shit!" Kaidan snatched up the phone and glared at Udina's name displayed on the caller ID. "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

"That work?"

"Yes. Vega, I've gotta take this."

"It's cool, I should probably get going anyway. Talk to you later. Good luck, K."

He disconnected the call and Kaidan spared one last glance at the computer screen before answering his phone, already working to calm himself and bury any trace of annoyance in his voice as Udina's voice filled his ear.


	3. Chapter 3

James sat back in his chair, shaking his head in disbelief and rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. Fuck. Even Kaidan thought he should talk to the guy. He'd made a good point, James supposed. If he was going to crash and burn, best to get it over with now and put it behind him. But if the guy was interested...well. James didn't really know what would happen then, but probably he could figure it out as he went along, right?

He sighed and pushed his chair away from the desk. Damn. Okay. So, he'd decided he was doing this, hadn't he? Shit. What the _hell_ was he going to say to the guy?

Liara and Sam were no help when he went to them for advice. Both had plenty of suggestions, but in the end, Sam just chucked him in the shoulder and gave him a knowing grin. "Just say hello, James, introduce yourself. If he seems receptive, ask if he'd like to get coffee sometime."

James scrunched up his nose. "Sam, I don't do coffee shops."

"So you meet him at the shop by the park and get your drinks to go," Liara chimed in, rolling her eyes. "Then the two of you take a nice stroll while you chat or find a bench to sit on. Lots of people around, no pressure, just the chance to get to know each other a little bit. Then, if _that_ goes well--"

"You go in for the kill," Sam interrupted, eyes alight with amusement.

"Excuse me?" James choked out.

Sam laughed and patted him on the shoulder. "You give him your number, silly, and say you'd like to see him again. Hopefully soon."

"Oh. Um. Right."

"James," Liara shot him a fond smile. "You're over thinking this. Don't worry about it, okay? It will be all right."

"Easy enough for you to say," James grunted. He snagged a beer from the fridge and slouched back to his room, making a point of shutting the door behind him.

**~~~~**

A week later, he found himself sitting in Liara's car at the small lot next to the market, still no closer to having any idea what he was going to say. It could have been worse, he supposed. He'd been busy with finals for the last few days, and that had kept him from worrying too much. Not to mention, he still hadn't heard back from the observatory, and a not-insignificant portion of his brain was occupied with freaking out about _that_. But it also meant that as he stared out the window, he felt like he was about to go into battle without any ammo. He wished he had taken a little more time to think over what to say.

"James," Liara said, voice soft and encouraging, "just talk to him. It will be fine. You're amazing, and if he isn't interested, it's _his_ loss."

He glanced back over his shoulder and shot her a half-hearted smile. "Thanks, Doc." He wasn't sure she was right, but at least he knew that if this went south, she'd have his back. He took a deep breath and got out of the car, leaning back against it for a moment as he gathered up his courage.

_Shit, man. You're just going to introduce yourself to a guy. Why does this feel like such a big deal?_

Probably because the last time he'd attempted to seriously hit on someone, he'd been seventeen and it had been a disaster of epic proportions? Yeah. He figured that would do it. But oddly enough, the memory gave him the bolster he needed. There was no way this could go that badly.

He pushed himself off the car and strode into the market with purpose, making a beeline for the orchard stall. For half a heartbeat, he thought maybe it was one of the weekends that the guy wasn't working, but then the crowd shifted a bit and there he was, smiling politely at a customer and handing her a few dollars in change. James felt a sudden wave of mixed disappointment and relief. It looked like he wasn't getting out of this. He shook himself and pressed on, stopping behind a couple that was perusing the produce.

James took advantage of the moment to surreptitiously check out his target. Broad in the shoulders, well muscled, and tall, if not quite James' height. Black hair was slicked back in a way that reminded James of old greaser movies. It should have been at odds with the guy's neat appearance and conservative dress--a lightweight grey pullover on top of a dark blue t-shirt, with jeans and loafers--but it seemed to suit him somehow. His brown eyes radiated patience as he watched his current customers, but the corner of his mouth twitched up in something James guessed was amusement. Given the way the couple was bickering over the correct scientific name of the apple one of them was holding, _and_ on the proper way to pronounce it, James couldn't blame him.

His lip twitched again and James noticed a hint of a scar there. As if that detail was the last straw, the familiar feeling of desire surged up, and James caught his breath. He snapped his eyes away, looking at the ground as he tried to calm himself. He was really doing this, wasn't he? Shit. He glanced around the market, looking for Liara, and found her on the other side of the pavilion. She winked at him and gave him the thumbs up, smiling and making a shooing motion, urging him forward. James risked a glance back at the stall and saw that the couple was paying for their fruit, having finally reached a stalemate on what to call it. He took a deep breath and stepped forward as they moved on.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"Good afternoon," the guy said, patient and polite. "Are you looking for anything in particular?"

_You have no idea_. James tried to meet his eyes but couldn't quite do it, staring over the guy's shoulder instead. He managed to mumble something about apples, and the guy nodded.

"Well, have a look. Let me know if you have any questions."

James stared down at the apples in question, mind completely blank. Shit. Shit shit _shit_. He needed to say something. He could just buy some damn apples, but then he would be expected to move on. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He tried to remember Sam and Liara's advice, but it wouldn't come to him. He reached out and picked up a nice looking Granny Smith, examining it more closely than was warranted. Saying the first thing that sprang to mind, he asked, "So, you must really like fruit, huh?"

"I beg your pardon?"

James cringed inwardly and berated himself. _What. The. Hell. Is wrong with you Vega?_ He coughed and glanced up, trying to shrug off the awkwardness. The guy's eyebrows had furrowed in confusion and he was giving James a concerned look. James tried desperately not to notice just how _cute_ it was. Clearing his throat, he tried again, "I just meant, you know, you grow the fruit and then sell it. Here. At the market. Takes dedication. You must like it."

"It's my parents' orchard, actually," the guy said, sounding just as confused as he looked now. "They don't like the city much, so I help out by manning the stall."

Shit, now he sounded defensive. James wished for a convenient black hole to get sucked into. "Oh, that's cool," James said, wincing when he realized that he now sounded far too enthusiastic about the topic. The guy's eyebrows shot up, his eyes going wide at the change in tone. "I mean," James gestured around the market, "it's nice of you to help out. This is a really good market, they must appreciate--"

As he swung his arm around, the apple in his hand broke free. It sailed across the pavilion, narrowly missing hitting three different customers, and only came to a stop when it smacked into the brick wall of the market's small permanent building. James didn't hear the sound the apple made when it stopped, but it dropped into the metal barrel trash can against the wall with a ringing thud that could be heard quite clearly by everyone present. Heads throughout the pavilion swiveled in their direction.

"That did not just happen," James groaned, shutting his eyes tightly.

"Afraid so," the guy deadpanned. "But hey, it was a hell of an impressive shot."

James risked cracking one eye open. The guy had crossed his arms over his chest and the edges of his lips were quirking up again. James could feel the rush of heat flood his face. "I should go." He reached into his pocket and dug out a couple dollar bills, slamming them on the counter and turning to leave. "For the apple. Sorry."

"Oh, hey, really, it's not--wait, this is too much. Let me get your change."

"Keep it," James called over his shoulder, already halfway across the market.

Liara was at the car when James reached it, eyes wide and expression contrite. "Oh dear," she said. "I never imagined it would go so badly."

"Just drive," James mumbled, slouching as far down in the seat as he could. "Please, just, let's go home."

"Of course."

They said nothing on the ride back to the apartment, and Liara had barely stopped the car before James was out of it, bolting for his room and shutting the door. He was grateful that Liara seemed to understand he wanted to be alone. No one came in to bother him. Although as he lay on his bed replaying the scene in the market, he almost wished someone _would_.

How could he have been so stupid? It was such a dumb idea. He should have known better. Well, at least Liara had seen how badly he was at even _talking_ to guys he liked. Maybe she'd lay off trying to get him to date from now on.

He stared at the ceiling, trying to shake the embarrassment that kept clinging to him, and wished he had some sort of distraction. His last final was yesterday afternoon, so studying was out. He could go to the gym. The punching bag was usually good for helping him forget everything for a while. But that would mean leaving the house, and he couldn't quite bring himself to do it.

Which really only left one option.

He heaved himself off the bed and plopped down into the chair at his desk, firing up his game and pulling up Lola. He stared at the ship's map for a while, trying to decide where to take her, before realizing that what he _really_ wanted was to blow shit up. He opened up the list of available space missions and settled in, already feeling better as he took out his first wave of imperial ships.

**~~~~**

_Bloop!_

James blinked and glanced at the clock as the call request came through. He'd been playing for about two hours. Accepting the call, he braced himself for a round of questioning. "Hey, K."

"Vega, hey! Wasn't expecting to see you online so early."

James turned to his speakers and frowned. That was it? No "how'd it go?" or "tell me all about it" from Kaidan? After a moment it dawned on him that he hadn't actually told Kaidan he'd be seeing the guy at the market today. Which meant he didn't have to relive the embarrassment just yet. A wave of relief washed through him. "Finished up finals yesterday," he said. "No homework means more time to play."

"Oh, cool! How did your finals go?"

James allowed himself a smile, some of his usual confidence returning. "Shit, I killed 'em. Two of my professors have already told me I aced their courses, and the others were cakewalks."

"That's great! So you're on track to graduate early then?"

"Looks like."

"Nice. Well, hey, did you want to run around for a bit, or are you busy?"

"Nah, I was just running some space missions," James replied. "Where do you want to meet up?"

The next two hours seemed to fly by, and James found himself feeling a lot better by the time they called it quits on the game. They were just chatting now, and Kaidan was telling him about the pool in his building reopening. James smiled at his friend's enthusiasm. "Didn't know you were into swimming."

"Oh, sure. I may not be able to make it to the gym as regularly as some people," he teased, "but laps in the pool are their own form of Zen."

"Zen?" James snorted.

"What? It's relaxing. Everything else just falls away and all you have to think about is the movement of your body. Tell me you don't get the same thing when you work out, Mr. Devastating Physique."

James nearly choked on his laughter. "Okay, yeah, fine. I know what you're talking about." He rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't call it 'Zen' though."

"Well, whatever you want to call it," Kaidan laughed. "It's nice."

"Yeah," James agreed. He fell silent, enjoying the peace that settled over him. Talking to Kaidan was good. He was surprised at how much it made up for the shitty start to his day. He winced as the memory rushed back, but at least the embarrassment wasn't so sharp anymore.

"You okay?" Kaidan asked.

James realized he hadn't said anything for a few minutes. He drew a deep breath and leaned forward. Well, he was gonna have to tell Kaidan eventually. Might as well bite the bullet, right? Maybe he'd have something to say to help James put it in perspective. Perk to having a friend a few years older than you, at least in theory. "Yeah, I just. Well. I saw that guy today. The one I like. Tried to talk to him."

"Oh?" Curiosity rang clear in the word. "You don't sound very happy about it. Did it not go well?"

James let out a dry chuckle. "Oh man, K, 'not well' is something of an understatement." He proceeded to tell Kaidan about the whole thing, from realizing just how attracted he was to the guy, to how terribly he'd flubbed the attempted introduction, to fleeing the market in shame. "I probably can't ever show my face there again," he finished up glumly.

"Wow," Kaidan breathed.

James waited a few minutes, but when nothing else was forthcoming, he prodded, "That's it? Come on, K, I was hoping for at least a 'Cheer up, Vega, it could have been worse.' Though, I don't know _how_ , so I can see where you're struggling."

"Vega, I--"

Kaidan stopped and James leaned forward, frowning. There was a strange note in Kaidan's voice. James was just about to ask him about it when there was a sharp knock at his door. He turned around in time to see it swing open, as Sam and Liara came in, not waiting for a response.

"Okay," Sam said with chipper determination, "you've been in here moping for hours. We are taking you to dinner. Come on."

"I'm not mo--"

"Oh, yes, you are," Liara interrupted. Her eyes were steel but her voice was kind. "Not without reason, but you do need to eat, and I think getting out of the apartment would be good for you right now." She glanced at the computer behind James and raised her voice. "If you don't mind us borrowing him, that is, Kaidan?"

James' eyebrows shot up. He was impressed. He didn't think Liara had bothered to learn Kaidan's name.

"Ah, no, that's...that's fine. You guys have fun. I'll, uh, I'll talk to you later, Vega."

"Sure, yeah. Later, K." James turned around to close out the chat program, and then Sam was tugging on his hand, pulling him out of the chair. "I'm _fine_ ," he insisted as she dragged him down the hall.

"Of course you are," she said with a cheery smile. The determination had not left her eyes, he noticed.

Liara's expression had softened a bit though. "Do you want to talk about it yet?"

"No," James said, voice as firm as he could make it.

"Well all right then. Where do you want to eat?"

 

**  
**


	4. Chapter 4

Kaidan stared at the screen in stunned silence, watching James' name disappear as he exited the chat program.

Holy shit.

That had been _Vega_ at the market today. Young, studious, goofy, fun _Vega_. They had been playing together for well over a year now, talked just about every day, and it had never occurred to Kaidan that they might actually live in the same city. Go to the same places. _Had actually met each other_.

Kaidan drew in a deep breath as a bigger realization hit him. If that had been Vega-- _James, his name is James_ \--in the market today, it meant that the guy James was into was _Kaidan_. A warm, fuzzy sort of feeling settled in his stomach and he realized he was grinning. James had been trying to ask him out. Who would have thought?

Shit. A second realization sank in. James was obviously mortified by what had happened. How the hell was Kaidan supposed to tell him that _he_ was the guy at the market? He could feel the panic trying to set in, and his heart started racing. What was he supposed to do next? He shook his head, reaching for his phone with a trembling hand. This was too much to process alone, it was time to call in the heavy artillery.

He didn't even wait for her to speak. As soon as the call connected, he jumped in, "Ash, are you busy? I need to talk."

**~~~~**

They met at their usual haunt, the bar they'd lived over when they were rooming together, back before they could both afford their own places. Ash got there first, still being closer to that side of town, and she had a whiskey waiting for Kaidan when he arrived. He gave her a thankful smile and downed the whole thing in one swallow while he sat down, then signaled the bartender for another.

Ash's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but she didn't say anything. She just turned on her stool and leaned her elbows back on the bar, waiting for Kaidan to start. He launched into the story without preamble, starting with noticing the cute guy at the market the week before. Then he explained about overhearing James' conversation with his roommate, and James explaining the situation, and him encouraging James to talk to the guy. He wrapped up with the incident at the market earlier in the day and then his subsequent conversation with James.

To her credit, Ash managed to keep a straight face through the whole telling. Though, from the way her eyes were sparkling, Kaidan guessed it was a bit of a struggle on her part. After he finished talking, she took a long sip from her beer, looking thoughtful, then said, "Huh."

Kaidan arched one eyebrow.

Ash set her beer on the bar and leaned forward, elbows coming forward to rest on her knees. "So, you've never actually met this Vega guy before? On purpose, I mean. You've only ever talked to him online?" Kaidan nodded and Ash gave her head a slow shake. "Huh," she said again. At Kaidan's narrowed eyes, she laughed and held up a placating hand. "Shit, Kaidan, don't give me that look. You've been talking about this guy for a year now. A _lot_. I mean, he comes up every time we get together. I just figured you were hanging out in actual--" she waved her hands in a vague circle, "--real time or whatever you geeks call it. Hell, I've been waiting for a while now for you to come clean that you two have been dating or some shit. Don't tell me you haven't had a crush on him for ages already."

Kaidan groaned and rubbed his hands across his eyes. "No," he said, deciding to stick with the initial question. "We've never met in person, at least not realizing it. It's honestly never come up."

"Why not?" She sounded genuinely curious.

"I'm not sure," Kaidan shrugged. "I mean, we both have our own lives, and they never really intersected beyond the game."

"Or so you thought." Ash grinned.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, now your lives have intersected 'beyond the game'," she brought her fingers up to make air quotes, eyes glinting with amusement. "So what happens now?"

"That's why I called you," Kaidan said, peering into his glass. It was still half full, he was taking this one at a slower pace. "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do next. I mean, should I tell him? _How_ do I tell him?" He bit his lip and then glanced back up at her, brow furrowed. "I should tell him, right?"

"Do you want to tell him?"

Kaidan stared at her. "Isn't that what I've just been saying?"

"Not even close," Ash said with a wry smile. "You've been talking about if you should or not, instead of whether you want to. From where I'm standing, looks like the real question is do _you_ want him to know you're the guy he's been crushing on?"

"I--" Kaidan opened and shut his mouth a few times. "God," he moaned, burying his face in his hands. "I don't know, Ash."

"Would you have wanted to meet him? Before you met him, I mean?"

"Of course! If I had known we were in the same city I would have asked to get together ages ago!" He cleared his throat and avoided her eyes. She was not wrong about him being into Vega for a while now, though he'd been trying to ignore that particular set of feelings. If he was being honest with himself, that was probably why he'd avoided asking where James lived. It was easier, somehow, if he stayed out of reach. Though that was all blown to hell now, wasn't it?

A knowing grin spread across Ash's face, and he thought she'd been expecting that answer. Sometimes he thought she knew him too well. "Okay. Well, now you know. So, maybe start from there." She gave him a sneaky look, a smirk flashing across her face. "You said his roommate thought you were checking him out last weekend. Is he cute?"

"So not the point, Ash." He turned his face enough to shoot her a glare.

"Kinda is." She waggled her eyebrows in response to Kaidan's huff of exasperation. "Well?"

Kaidan covered his face again. "Yeah," he whispered. "He really is."

"You sound so surprised about that," she laughed. "I mean, did it not occur to you he'd look as good as he sounded?"

"I never really thought about it," Kaidan answered. Ash snorted her disbelief and Kaidan rolled his eyes. "Okay, sure, I mean, I've wondered what he looked like. Had a kind of image in my head. But he's...nothing like what I pictured. At all."

"Oh? Do tell!"

Kaidan turned to give her a level look. "You are terrible. I don't know why I put up with you."

"Because I'm your best friend?" she offered, then paused, tilting her head. "Well, oldest friend, at least," she gave him a soft smile. "Also, I'm always willing to help you sort through all that bullshit you tend to let cloud your mind up when you start thinking too hard about a situation."

"Heh." He took another sip of his drink. "I guess you have _some_ uses, it's true." He shot her a smirk.

"You love me, and you know it." She punched him lightly in the shoulder. "And don't think I can't see you trying to change the subject. Come on, spill. What's he like?"

Kaidan let out a mock sigh and rolled his eyes, affecting a put-upon expression. "Well, if you _must_ know."

"I really must," she grinned.

"Well, he's a fucking giant, for one thing," Kaidan said, shaking his head in disbelief. "I mean, he mentioned he goes to the gym a lot, but I always assumed he'd be kind of slim and compact, you know, someone you could see parked behind a telescope all the time. But he's just...muscles _everywhere_. I think even his muscles have muscles."

"Nice." Ash clinked her beer against his glass and gestured for him to go on.

"I guess I was expecting him to be a _kid_ ," Kaidan mused, "even though I knew he wasn't _that_ young. He's such a smartass, I kept thinking he'd be the class clown type, you know? With shaggy hair and some obscure rock band on his t-shirt, not tattoos and scars, and..." he trailed off, flushing with heat as the memory of James popped up in his mind. Shit. He shouldn't be thinking about James like this. Not without talking to him first.

"Sounds like you _like_ the scars and the tattoos," Ash observed. She nudged his thigh with her knee. "So, no shaggy hair or obscure rock band apparel, I take it?"

"Nope. Buzz cut, with a...I guess it's a mohawk," Kaidan scrunched his face up, trying to think of the right word. He waved his hands around his head trying to describe it. "But short," he finished, holding his forefinger and thumb apart to demonstrate. "And a Marine Corps shirt, which I suspect is how he got the scars. He told me he started college late because he had to earn money for tuition first."

Ash let out a low whistle of appreciation. "So, apparently he presses all the right buttons for you on the visuals, you already know you two get along, _and_ he's a huge nerd like you." She smiled and leaned forward squeezing his shoulder. "Kaidan, if you don't tell this guy who you are, I might just do it for you."

"Yeah, yeah. You've made your point." He tossed back the rest of his drink. "But just how am I supposed to go about this? I mean, he was _really_ embarrassed about today, Ash. I don't think just knowing I was me is gonna make that easier for him." Kaidan swallowed. What if James freaked out when he found out, and didn't want anything to do with Kaidan at all after that?

"Maybe not at first," she agreed. "But just think how much it worse it will be if you wait."

Kaidan had to admit she had a point. He nodded, thinking it over. Probably it would be better to do face to face. Which meant he needed to find a way to meet James in person again. That was going to be the real trick, he suspected.


	5. Chapter 5

James hummed to himself as he surfed the internet, eyes drifting to the notification tray every few minutes. He hoped Kaidan would be logging into their chat program soon. They hadn't had a chance to talk in almost three days. Liara and Sam, not wanting to give him time to wallow in his failed attempt at flirting, had kept him busy all weekend. To be fair, they were all done with finals, and part of that was celebrating the end of the semester. But mostly, he knew it was them trying to keep him occupied.

They'd gone to the museum, and the planetarium, and out to hear local bands play. They only let him sneak off alone to go to the gym, and at home kept him out of his room with a Lord of the Rings movie marathon and a game of Trivial Pursuit that turned into seven when their competitive streaks kicked in. James won the impromptu tournament with three victories under his belt, but it was close. When he did make it into his room, he was too tired to do more than collapse into bed and sleep.

But at last they seemed willing to trust James on his own again, and after sleeping in until almost noon, he spent most of the day playing his game again. He hadn't expected Kaidan to be around, of course, knowing he'd be at work. But now was about the time Kaidan usually turned up online, and James was all but bouncing in his seat as he waited. Not only had he missed talking to the guy, but he had some news to share.

_Bloop!_

"Finally," James muttered, grinning as he hit the key to talk. "Hey, K!"

"Vega, hey, how are you? Haven't seen you around. Gotta admit, I was a little worried."

"Aw, Doc and Sam kept me running around all weekend so that I couldn't 'dwell' on what happened." He laughed. "I'm okay, really." His grin widened at Kaidan's concern. "Fucking phenomenal, actually. Guess what!"

Kaidan let out a surprised laugh and obliged James' demand. "What?"

"I heard from the observatory! I got accepted! Two weeks at the end of June and another two at the start of August." The information packet had arrived with the day's mail, and James had been itching to tell someone. Liara and Sam had gone to the mall before the postal carrier showed up, and they still weren't back. He supposed he could have texted to tell them, but it wasn't as fun that way.

"Vega, that's great, congratulations!" Kaidan sounded genuinely pleased for him. "That will be an amazing experience for you!"

"Yeah," James agreed. "It's an undergrad internship style program, so it will give me a chance to make sure I really want to stay on this track when it comes time to lay out my doctorate plan. I'm really looking forward to it."

"I bet." A soft chuckle rolled through the speakers. "Glad to hear you're in better spirits than the last time we talked." James heard the catch of hesitation in Kaidan's voice, and then he asked, "Do you think you'll try again? To talk to that guy at the market?"

"Shit, I don't know," James said, leaning back in his chair as he thought it over. "I'm sure I confused the hell out of him. He probably thinks I'm a moron or something."

"I very much doubt that," Kaidan said, voice quiet and tone serious.

"Yeah, well, you've got inside information," James teased.

"Guess so," Kaidan laughed. "So, you're just gonna let it go, then?"

James' brow furrowed, and he wondered why Kaidan was pressing the issue. But then he shrugged and leaned forward again. "Dunno," he answered at last, trying to keep his voice light. "I mean, it's still pretty embarrassing to remember. I figure I'll stay away from the market for a few weeks at least. If he's there when I go back, well, I guess I'll just have to see if he says anything."

"Ah," Kaidan replied. "Okay." There was a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"You're starting to sound like Doc, K," James said.

"Sorry." Kaidan sounded like he was wincing. "I guess I was just...curious, if you were still into him or if this had soured you on the idea. Of him, of dating, I don't know. I just want to make sure you're all right."

James snorted. "It sure as hell soured me on the idea of trying to pick anyone up, that's for damn sure."

"Just gonna wait for them to come to you from now on, huh?"

"Seems like a solid plan." James smirked. "Hey, I'm okay, K, really. Like I told you before, I'm more used to _not_ dating anyway. So this is really just status quo, yeah? Trying to be with someone right now would just be complicated anyway."

"Yeah." Kaidan went quiet again, and James' eyebrows drew down.

Kaidan _was_ awfully interested in the whole situation, he realized. A tiny inkling of an idea occurred to him, and the corner of his lip twitched. "I mean, if I find somebody worth it, of course I'll try to make it work," he added, testing a hunch.

"Yeah," Kaidan said again, tone audibly lightening, "of course." He gave a short laugh. "I guess the trick is just figuring out who's worth it, huh?"

"Seems to be," James drawled, letting his smile free. _Interesting_ , he thought.

Kaidan cleared his throat and changed the subject, and they talked for a little while longer, then Kaidan logged into the game and they ran their Jedi around a few planets. They didn't play for very long, as neither seemed much in the mood for the game that night. James was still too excited about his acceptance, and Kaidan seemed distracted. James had to admit he was growing curious about what it was that had him so preoccupied, especially given his earlier interest in James' dating life--or lack thereof, really.

He was trying to figure out how to ask without prying, or without being too obvious, when Kaidan let out a heavy sigh and said, "Well, I should probably call it a night. We have a staff meeting tomorrow morning that starts at an ungodly early hour. Falling asleep during those is generally frowned upon. But hey, you gonna be around in the evening?"

James smiled at the hopeful note in Kaidan's voice. "Should be," he answered. "Doc and I were talking about going to see the Mayan exhibit at the museum, but I'm pretty sure we'll be back by the time you're off work."

Kaidan made a funny choked off sound. "The 'Undiscovered Ancient Wonders' exhibit?" he asked. "At the Citadel Science Museum?"

"Um, yeah," James replied, surprised. His stomach did a slow flip. _Uh uh, no. No way. Not after all this time. You can't be telling me..._ "Do you know it?"

"It's about three blocks from my office," Kaidan said, amusement coloring his voice.

"Holy shit. Are you telling me it's taken over a year for us to realize we live in the same fucking city?"

"Apparently so." Kaidan was sounding funny again. "Vega--"

"We totally have to meet up," James interrupted. It didn't matter if his suspicions about Kaidan's sudden weird behavior were right. That was a bridge he could cross later. The only thing he could really focus on was the fact that his _best friend_ lived in the same city as he did and he was damned if he wasn't going to pounce on the chance to meet the guy.

Thankfully, Kaidan seemed to be thinking along the same lines. "Yeah," he said, clearing his throat. "Yeah. We really do. When do you--?"

"Hell, why not tomorrow?" James rushed in. He didn't want to give himself a chance to over think this and freak out about it, or build up expectations. The sooner the better, as far as he was concerned. "I'll already be by your office, right? And Doc can spend hours in the museum by herself. Maybe we can grab lunch while she gets a head start."

"I'd like that," Kaidan said, and something in his voice had James blushing. Then Kaidan sighed and added, "But the staff meeting is scheduled to go through two, and the museum closes at four. I don't want you to miss out. Boss is letting us go at four though, since we're coming in early. Maybe I could meet you at the museum then? We can go grab coffee or something."

"Okay, cool," James agreed. He tried not to think about the fact that getting coffee was pretty much universally defined as a date. "Um, how are we gonna recognize each other?" His lips tilted up into a smirk. "Want me to put a red flower in my hair or something?"

"Only if that's your style, Vega," Kaidan laughed, sounding more like himself. "Just be in front of the space flight fountain at four and I'll find you."

"Gotcha," James said. "I'll be there."

"Good. Good. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. Night, Vega."

"Night, K."

_Well_ , he thought to himself as they disconnected, _tomorrow's gonna be interesting._

**~~~~**

The gift shop at the museum had red flowers. Fake ones, leftover merchandise from the previous exhibit tucked away in a corner behind the register. It was the bright color that caught his eye as they walked by, and James did a double take when he noticed them. He almost bought one, just to be funny, but Liara dragged him past the shop before he could suggest stopping.

He was antsy the entire time they walked through the museum, barely stopping to look at any of the displays. Liara kept shooting him exasperated looks. The fifth time he checked the clock on his phone, she let out an audible groan. "Are you _sure_ about this? I mean, I know you think you know him, but--"

"I'll be _fine_ ," he argued, not for the first time. Sam was picking Liara up at three forty-five, and James was going to take her car home. "It's not like I can't take care of myself if by some long shot he turns out to be a creep." He raised an eyebrow and flexed his arm slightly, drawing a blush from Liara.

"All right, all right. I am just still not convinced it's a good idea."

James was well aware of that. When he'd told her and Sam about it the night before, Liara had spent a good hour trying to talk him out of it. It had only been Sam's intervention that caused her to concede. She'd pointed out that they were meeting in the open, in a very public place, and made James promise to charge his cell phone and keep it within easy reach. That mollified Liara a little.

"It will be _fine_ ," he assured her again. "I know you're worried, but can't you just be happy I'm finally getting to meet him in person? You're the one who's always saying he can't really be my friend if I've never met him."

"Yes, but I didn't mean--" She fell silent at his glare and shook her head. "Oh very well. Just promise me you'll be careful."

"You know I will," he said, wrapping her up in a hug and giving her a tight squeeze. She squeaked in surprise and he kissed the top of her head. "Now come on, I know you want to see this exhibit."

He should have known she wouldn't let it drop completely, though. As they left the museum to meet Sam, Liara hung back by the fountain and bit her lip. "Are you sure you don't want me to stick around? Just so you have someone else with you?"

"Yes," James said, torn between amusement and annoyance. "Look, I won't go anywhere with him that's not public, and if anything seems the slightest bit hinky I'll bug out, okay?"

"Okay," she sighed. "If you're sure."

"I am."

She eyed the fountain again as James leaned up against it, a small frown on her face. "How is he even supposed to know who you are?"

James thought she was just thinking out loud at this point, but he went ahead and answered anyway. "There aren't _that_ many people out here, Doc. He'll probably just look for the guy who seems to be waiting for someone. Besides," he grinned and gestured at his chest, "that's what the shirt is for. Should help him out."

He'd figured it was better to be safe than sorry, so he had decided to wear a Star Wars shirt for the meeting. Just a plain black t-shirt, with the Jedi emblem across the front. He suspected that would serve as well as a nametag for Kaidan. Liara tilted her head and examined his shirt, nodding with an absent air as her lips pursed in thought.

"I see," she said. "You know, the iconography in that franchise really is quite interesting. I bet one could make a _fascinating_ study on comparing it to images and designs from real cultures around the world. Try to draw up a chart of all of the influences and what it means as to where they appear in the fictional univer--"

"Doc," James interrupted. She blinked and shot him a sheepish grin. James was used to her tangents though, so he just smiled back and pointed to the circular drive in front of the courtyard. "Your ride's here."

"Oh!" She turned her head in time to see Sam pull up and lean across the front seat to wave at them out the window. "Well," Liara said, hesitating, "I suppose I should go, then."

"Yes," James agreed, giving her a gentle push, "you should. Go on, now." He waved back at Sam and then settled against the edge of the fountain. Liara shot him one last worried look but then nodded and gave him a quick hug before darting over to Sam's car. James waved again and watched them go, trying to ignore the nerves stirring up in his stomach.

It would be fine, he knew it would. Just a pair of friends getting together to do something new. No big deal at all, really. Except that it was. He thought maybe it might be a huge deal, in fact. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. Leaning back, he let the warmth of the afternoon sunshine settle over him, just enough heat to make the occasional splash of water from the fountain welcome.

"Cool shirt," said a familiar voice. "I mean, it's no red flower, but still pretty nice."

James let out a low chuckle and opened his eyes, already preparing a wise crack in response. The words died on his tongue as he saw the man in front of him though. It was the guy from the market. But he'd mentioned the red flower, which meant...James sucked in a sharp breath and felt a flush suffuse his face.

The other guy had obviously anticipated the reaction. He already had both hands up in a placating gesture. "Don't freak out, okay. Please. Vega-- _James_ \--I can explain." He made a face and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, sort of."

"Kaidan?" James managed to choke out at last. But he didn't need the nod that Kaidan gave him. He could see an ID badge clipped to his belt: Alliance Data Solutions. Kaidan Alenko, IT Manager. James closed his eyes again and rubbed at the back of his neck. This had just gotten surreal. How the hell was Kaidan the guy from the market? "Okay," he said, opening his eyes again. He hopped up to sit on the edge of the fountain and gestured for Kaidan to do the same. "Explanation would be good."

Kaidan let out a heavy sigh and moved to sit beside James, running a hand through his hair before he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. He gave James a sidelong look and appeared to be trying to decide where to start. James struggled to keep his breathing even and tried not to notice how good Kaidan smelled.

"I didn't know," Kaidan said. "Who you were at the market. I mean, I'd noticed you before, of course." The corners of his lips twitched up. "You're, uh, kind of hard to miss." James let out a grunt and Kaidan chuckled, shaking his head. "But you were always with that girl with the blue hair, I kind of figured you two were, you know."

"That's Doc--Liara," James managed.

Kaidan nodded. "I figured as much after Saturday. Like I said, I didn't know. Not until you told me about what happened."

"You mean the most awkward failure of a pickup attempt in history?" James snorted.

"Heh, it wasn't that bad, James," Kaidan said, leaning slightly to bump his shoulder into James' before moving back into his own space. He glanced down at his hands, smiling. "It certainly got my attention."

"So you figured it out when I told you," James mused, and Kaidan nodded. James frowned, recalling the conversation. Kaidan _had_ gone silent after James had told him. Then he'd seemed about to say something, when..."And you didn't get a chance to say anything because Liara and Sam came in and dragged me out to dinner."

"Exactly," Kaidan agreed. "Though maybe that's for the best. I have no idea how that would have gone. I started thinking maybe I _shouldn't_ say anything, you were so obviously embarrassed, but..." he shook his head and glanced over at James, one eyebrow raised. "Well, that just didn't sit right with me. And," he took a deep breath and looked away again, "It didn't take very long for me to realize I _wanted_ you to know."

James' breath caught. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Kaidan shot him a look that had James feeling much warmer all of a sudden. "Your roommate was right, you know, I _was_ checking you out." He shifted, pulling up one leg underneath him as he turned his whole body to face James. "So, the real question is, what now? I mean, we're in this weird limbo where we know each other but we don't. And you've got a lot going on right now, I don't want to distract you from that. Are we just friends still, or do you want to try for something more? Or..." he paused and swallowed, "...has it just gotten too weird now?"

James' eyes went round as he realized what Kaidan was saying. If he wanted, they could just cut ties, forget any of it ever happened. Kaidan would just...walk away. He shook his head back and forth, reaching out to put a hand on Kaidan's knee without really thinking about it, only barely registering Kaidan's intake of breath at the touch. "No, I don't--I don't want that. It's weird, yeah, but not--just." He sighed in frustration, pulling his hand back and rubbing his hands over his face. "Hell, K, you're my best friend. We'll figure this out, okay?"

"Okay," Kaidan said, a small smile playing over his lips.

"Fuck," James muttered. "I've thought about suggesting we figure out a way to meet up a hundred times, at least, but I never thought this was how it would go." He shook his head again, slowly this time. "It's not what I expected at all." Shooting Kaidan a sideways glance, he smiled and added, " _You're_ not what I expected."

"You're not exactly what I was expecting either, James." Kaidan laughed and shook his own head, a warm smile settling on his face as he watched James.

His eyes were expectant, and James thought a little hopeful, too. They were a rich brown, a little darker than James' own eyes, and he had to pull his gaze away, realizing how easy it would be to get lost in them. He glanced up at Kaidan's hair, smiling to see it mussed a bit, unlike how neat it had been at the market. No doubt the running his hands through it was a nervous habit, just like he’d pictured--at least he’d gotten one thing right about Kaidan. Even having a better idea of what to expect, had he been as keyed up about their meeting as James had been all day?

Maybe so, James thought, giving Kaidan a once over. The hair was the only thing about him that wasn’t neatly in place, which suggested its current state wasn’t normal for him. He seemed otherwise well put-together. He wore a blue sweater-vest over a crisp white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows in deference to the warm weather. His dark grey slacks were neatly pressed, and he had on a pair of stylish slip-on black dress shoes.

James met Kaidan's eyes again and he swallowed before looking away. He could feel the heat creeping back up in his face, and pooling in other areas as well. Up until that moment, he wouldn't have thought he would go for such a conservative look. But on Kaidan, it worked. Very well. He cleared his throat and turned back, forcing himself to meet and hold Kaidan's eyes, trying to ignore what the sight of Kaidan's smirk did to his stomach.

"So," he said. "If I _had_ managed to ask you out on Saturday, you'd have said...?"

Kaidan laughed, rich and deep, and low. James had to close his eyes, it was almost too much. He knew that laugh, had heard it countless times over the last year. There was no reason it should be affecting him so much. But somehow, in person, it was just so much _more_. He felt Kaidan's hand cover his own, and opened his eyes again. "I'd have said yes," Kaidan whispered.

"Okay," James breathed, nodding to himself. "Okay." He cleared his throat and asked, "So, do you want to go get a drink or something?"

Kaidan's smirk softened to a more gentle smile and he tilted his head, giving James a close look. "You sure? I meant it, I don't want to be a distraction for you."

"I've always got time for you, K, you know that," James said, letting his own smile form. "Besides," he turned his hand over so it was palm to palm with Kaidan's, lacing their fingers together and giving a brief squeeze. "Like I said, I've just been holding out for someone who's worth it."

Now Kaidan was the one who had to look away, and James saw a blush creeping up his neck. "There's a bar around the corner that's not bad," he said after a moment. "They've got decent food, too."

"Sounds good to me," James agreed, sliding off the fountain and tugging Kaidan down with him. "Lead the way."

They started walking, fingers still linked together, and James was glad when Kaidan made no move to pull his hand back. He tried not to dwell on how _right_ it felt. He suspected not rushing in to this was going to be a hell of a challenge. But he thought he and Kaidan were up to it. An idea occurred to him and he let out a loud laugh. Kaidan paused and turned to him, eyebrows raised in question.

"What?"

James waved his free hand in the air, trying to dismiss Kaidan's concern. "It's nothing. I just realized that I can't wait to tell Doc about this. She spent most of the day trying to convince me that it was a terrible idea to meet up with someone I only knew from online."

"But," Kaidan's brow furrowed. "Isn't she the one who was pushing you to ask out a complete stranger at the market?"

"Exactly!" James crowed. He laughed again, and Kaidan joined in. "Shit," James said, "her face when I introduce you is going to be priceless."

"Already talking about introducing me to your roommates, huh?" Kaidan teased.

"Only if you want to," James replied, turning serious again.

"I'd like that, I think," Kaidan said with a shy smile. He squeezed James' hand. "I think I owe her some thanks. If you'd never approached me in the market..." he trailed off. "Well, who knows when we would have gotten to meet?"

James took a step closer to him, reaching up to cup Kaidan's cheek. "Aw, we'd have figured it out sooner or later."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Kaidan agreed, something sparking in his eyes.

He leaned forward and James didn't even think about it, he just leaned in too, their lips meeting in a kiss. It was a short kiss, just a peck, really, but it set James' blood singing. When he pulled back and met Kaidan's eyes, he thought he wasn't the only one left wanting more.

"Come on," he breathed, dropping his hand from Kaidan's face. "I think I could use that drink." He shot Kaidan a weighted look. "And then..."

"Yeah," Kaidan grinned. "And then." He started moving again, walking fast and pulling James along in his wake.

_So much for not rushing in_ , James thought with a chuckle. _But then again_ , he met Kaidan's eyes when he glanced back and winked at him, _maybe we've already waited long enough to find each other._

**The End**

****

[Be sure to check out Asylum Farm's amazing fanmix!](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP8aAlHCfRhX-zkfK3SucL0fvVkWn7CE_)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did write an epilogue for this, called [Third Date](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2331002), for anyone who might be interested in what happens next.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Third Date](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2331002) by [yarnandtea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yarnandtea/pseuds/yarnandtea)




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